I really didn’t wan’t to do this, but I thought it might be wrong for me to watch a movie this bad and not post about it. Yes, I did watch the first one, and no, I didn’t like it either. What’s really interesting is that they had actual writers write the story on this one, and it steel feels like the original’s teen girl fanfiction. (you know, because that’s what it is). I already know that I’m not in the intended audience and the main goal is to be a fluffy rom-com, but can it at least try to be interesting? I promise to go back to covering stuff I like next time, but for now, I want to let off some steam.
First off, this movie is way too long, and feels that way to a painful extent. I mean, two hours? Over half of it was about Elle, the ultra basic protagonist playing a DDR ripoff with Lee, her ultra-basic best friend, who wants to win money so she can go to school near her ultra-basic (reformed) bad boy boyfriend Noah. And I couldn’t care less about any of them.
I kept on thinking about how literally no one plays DDR like it’s an actual dance competition with choreography until I realized that The Kissing Booth takes place in a strangely alternate reality version of our world, where DDR is an esport that somehow involves Dancing With The Stars level performances. They literally perform in a stadium that can house a massive pop concert. What is this world where the dance game at malls and arcades is this popular?
I understand the people making the movie wanting the sequel to be on a bigger and grander scale from the first one, but why spend it all here? When we finally get to the booth, which appears in the last twenty minutes, it’s barely even a plot point. And don’t even get me started on the obviously shoehorned in gay couple that got a total screen-time of three minutes. I could not look at my screen that scene was so cringy.
Speaking of cringe, how about Elle and Lees entire friendship. Am I the only one that found it extremely uncomfortable the way Elle basically prevented her best friend from spending time with his girlfriend? It’s a little messed up how oblivious she was, even after the point when Rachel rightfully calls her out on it at the Halloween party. Elle doesn’t even have to sincerely apologize either. Rachel just automatically forgives her when she learns that Lee didn’t say anything to Elle, which he didn’t have to do if, you know, Elle wasn’t completely terrible.
As far as romance goes, the plot was ripped straight from another popular Netflix rom-com that came out earlier this year: cool new guy Marco shows up that might threaten main couple’s relationship, while Elle has doubts about whether bad boy Noah is truly in love with her. I wonder which did it better? Oh, and there’s a mature-looking woman with a British accent for some reason who has a tendency to lose earrings. Her single purpose is to make Elle Jealous and nothing else. Tell me why this is popular again?
We all know Elle and Noah are going to stay together, why even bother with adding these new characters that add nothing to what little of a story there is. But considering they’re two of the sparse people of color in the cast, I can kind of see it. It makes me wonder why the first movie didn’t have more color in it. Hmmm…
Anyways, there’s a whole misunderstanding about the British girl’s earrings, which leads to Elle kissing Marco at the dance contest, which makes Noah really angry, but he cools down and makes up with her at the spot where they first got together and all is well…until Elle opens her college acceptance letters.
There is actually going to be a Kissing Booth 3. I would be angrier, but I’ve come to terms with the movie franchises’ popularity. People like it, and I can’t fault them for that, even if a lot of them are grown adults in their 20s. One thing I’d like to comment on is Elle’s essay. She seriously got into Harvard by starting an essay with restating the prompt. If that doesn’t say something about the American education system, I don’t know what does.
So, I didn’t like this at all. Literally nothing was funny about it and multiple parts made me cringe from just how boring it was. But am I going to watch the third one? Probably. So maybe I’m the one that needs help. See you next year when The Kissing Booth turns into an even more lifeless version of After. I can’t wait to see which one flubs their essays more.